How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
