And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
