Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
