I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just want to make out with him forever
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
