I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
