Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
