yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
