Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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