you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
