i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
