Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
