So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
