That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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