I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
