We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
