My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
