I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
bring money and cleavage
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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