I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
