The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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