I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
