that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
