This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
