dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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