the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
how do you play pong handcuffed?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
