Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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