i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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