they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
