I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
