guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
