He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
