just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
