everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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