did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
