It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
