Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
