my mouth tastes like poor choices
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
