This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
