best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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