My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
