I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
