But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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