Me too!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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