yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
