you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
