I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
