sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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