He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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