Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
