I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
