if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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