Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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