i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just googled if crying burns calories
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
