i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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